Southern Quotes

Only a  Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a

conniption fit, and that you don’t “HAVE” them, you “PITCH”  them

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas,
beans, etc., make up “a  mess.”

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of
“yonder.”

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long “directly” is, … as in: “Going to
town, be back directly”

Even Southern babies know that   “Gimme some sugar” is not a request for the
white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the
middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly  when “by and by” is.  They might not use the
term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a
neighbor who’s got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of
cold potato salad.  If the neighbor’s trouble is a real crisis, they also
know to add a large banana puddin!

Only Southerners grow up knowing the  difference between “right near” and “a
right far piece.”  They also know that “just down the road” can be 1 mile or
20.

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a
redneck, a good ol’ boy,  and po’ white trash.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn
signal is actually going to make a turn.

A Southerner  knows that “fixin” can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
adverb.

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, … and when we’re
“in line,” … we talk to everybody!

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they’re
related, even if only by marriage.

In the South, y’all is singular, ….. all y’all is plural.

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that
fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, “Well, I caught myself lookin’,” you know you are
in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners  say “sweet tea” and “sweet milk.”  Sweet tea
indicates the need for sugar and lots of it — we do not like our tea
unsweetened.  “Sweet milk” means you don’t want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don’t scream obscenities at little old
ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,     “Bless her heart”
… and go your own way.

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the
morning.  Bless your heart!

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this
Southern stuff, … bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin’ to have
classes on Southernness as a second language!

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long
time, all y’all need a sign to hang on y’all ‘s front porch that reads “I
ain’t from the South, but I got here as fast as I could.”

Want to join us for the SSAC 2018 Retreat? Email mbrent@comcast.net to apply, and click here to see the daily schedule!

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